Good Intentions

Recently, I was walking around Downtown Toronto with my girlfriend.  As many whom frequent the area around the Eaton Centre know, there are often many individuals with pamphlets promoting a variety of things often based around religion or culture.  I passed through the crowd in my typical fashion; head down pretending not to notice the people trying to capture your attention and kindly nodding no to those able to catch my eyes.  I was approached by a young black man who proceeded to place a chocolate bar in my hand.  His direct approach was successful as I hesitated and in that moment he asked “Would you like to make a donation to Canadian Track & Field.  Still in full rejection mode I responded politely the typically Canadian “No Thanks” and took a few steps forward. But something was different, I’m not sure if it was his gentle approach, his race, the fact that topic involved sports, or something else but he hooked me.  Without hesitation I reached into my pocket for money.  The young man reached out his hand and put the money into his pocket.  I walked away satisfied that I had done my good dead for the week (I limit myself to only one).  My sense of pride faded almost immediately and was replaced with skepticism.  I began to wonder why did he not say thank you? Why did he quickly place the money in his pocket? Why did he not write anything or require me to fill something out?  I looked over to my girlfriend only to see her expression of displeasure with my altruistic action. I began to wonder have I become too skeptical?  Was I too trusting?    As I travelled on the streetcar I questioned the motivation for my philanthropy. Was I seeking a thank you merely for self gratification?  Would I have had the same lack of trust if it had been a women or a man of a different age/race? I have all these questions but have yet to come up with any concrete answers.

~ by oreogeek on July 24, 2008.