Hip-Hop: A love hate relationship

I have always felt that in terms of my musical taste I listened to a variety of genres.  At any given moment I could be listening to pop music, classical, heavy rock or electronica.  While my tastes may be eclectic, I usually will go a month or two listening to one type of music until I get ‘tired’ of it and move on to something else.  Noticeably absent from my rotation was Hip Hop or rap music.  When I began listening to music rap was the only genre I listened to.  As I got older, my interests in other styles increased (How could anyone avoid Nirvana during the 90s!) but rap was always my safety net.  Then something changed..I began to listen to the lyrics and felt a disconnect between the words being spoken and my experience.  I did not grow up in the ‘hood’, I did not smoke ‘weed’ on the corner and I didn’t have sex with ‘ho’s’.  I still liked the beats but the images and lyrics were not relevant to me and so rap was no longer relevant to me.

At the same time I always thought the ability of an MC to paint an image, at the same time being able manipulate and play with words in a creative manner requires tremendous skill.  I know that there are many artists that do use rap and hip hop (I’ve never been able to distinguish between the two) in a positive manner and do not resort to simply glorifying an undesirable lifestyle. I have been listening to a lot of hip hop recently, probably more than I have in the past several years.  I still cringe at the sexist and violent nature of the lyrics and I am not sure of how long it will be before hip hop is once again off my play-list. Often these artists argue that their words are not an attempt to glorify their lifestyle, but rather paint a picture of the life they have lived. I just wish that there was some way for these artists to use their creative talents to describe more than this one experience and become true storytellers.   I hope that someday I will able to say that I listen to rap music without feeling that I am doing something that I feel guilty about.

Proud FM?

When I bought my mp3 player, one the features that i thought would be useful was FM.  I have to admit that I rarely listen to the radio but every once in a while I will try it out.  During a spell of boredom I tried to fill out the 30 preset station slots available.  After a 5 minute search I had a total of 7 (and believe me it was a stretch to find numbers six and seven).  After some time I stumbled upon 103.9fm which was playing some catchy top 40 pop music.  Desperate to add to my collection I added the station.  I listened for a short while and learned that I had found the home of Proudfm. I was curious about the station and this being the Internet age I had to check out the website. The station is catered to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Community (GLBT).  

I continued to listen to the station off as they play a wide variety of club, current and older pop music.  My problem was that I found it increasingly difficult to determine what distinguished this radio station from any other.  What made this a GLBT radio station?  The artists I assume were not exclusively part of the GLBT community? I couldn’t understand how music which many claim as being universal could be seen as GLBT-themed.  The subject matter during the typical host banter in between songs was sometimes GLBT based and sometimes not. I think the biggest indication of the stations influence in the GLBT community can be found in the advertising. It was at this point that I realized the stations best attribute is not in the music but rather in the potential to sell to an extremely specific group.  A lot of the ads to me seemed to be for products goods and services (petite clothing, cosmetic surgery, careers in massage therapy etc.), that in my opinion are based on a stereotype of the Gay community in particular.  

This subject of stereotype is perhaps the biggest issue.  I am conflicted between the idea that there should a medium through which the concerns, ideas and opinions of various groups are expressed and the belief that often these methods only seem to foster existing stereotypes about the group in question.  I have often felt this way about the television station BET.  Its audience has demands about what they want to see and hear, and there is a benefit from the ability for black people to share, express and be entertained in this manner.  At the same time as one of the only sources of exposure, I sometimes feel that it portrays a very specific experience of black people. As with any community there is not exist one singular shared experience or preference for entertainment, but as with any community it becomes difficult for minority voices to be heard.  

The difference between BET and proudfm to me is that at least in terms of music there is an ability to define the music not as black music but as urban music, and thus they are able to incorporate a wider audience of music fans.  I don’t think it can be said that there is ‘gay’ music unless its being used in a negative or stereotypical manner.  I am not sure if this differentiation exists or not but anyway I’ll keep on listening.

Blog Action Day

As an inconsistent writer to this blog, I was surprised to discover that today is Blog Action Day (thanks boywithnoname , great piece by the way).  I tend to keep my political and social views to myself but the topic of poverty crosses beyond political alliances or at least it should.  The current financial situation has once again made me wonder about the economy and its effect on poverty.

Viewing various news channels on the television, the current global financial situation appears to be in turmoil.  As financial markets continue to fall and predictions of a global recession dominate the news, I find it curious that an entire regions in the world has been able to escape the financial difficulty.

While Asia, Europe and North America  struggle to maintain the financial structures, Africa has managed to avoid mention.  Is it due to shrewd financial maneuvering? My instincts tell me no.  While many are wondering what will happen with their investments, retirement and jobs, an entire continent does not have these issues to address, because these problems are minimal.  In a region that possess vast  resources including oil and diamonds, the panic that is currently occuring around the world markets is not prevelant. There are many individuals within Africa for whom the problems in the market have impacted upon, however for the overwhelming majority the current situation does not resonate.  This is not to suggest that the problem of poverty is relevant only to places of Africa, but when an entire continent is minimally affected from what is being termed a global problem,  something is wrong.  While governments across the globe move to stabilize the financial markets, Africa is attempting to stabilize its infrastructure, unemployment, corruption and AIDS crisis to name a few.  Poverty in this context is not the source of the problem but rather represents the outcome of an inability to address these other factors.

Poverty can be found in all corners of the world and to think that poverty is limited only to those ‘other’ countries that we only read about is unrealistic as one only has to walk the streets of any urban North American street to realize this.  It seems however, as the world becomes increasingly interconnected, financially, technologically and socially, there are those who are being further excluded from this connectivity. Whether these people reside in North America, Europe, Asia or Africa there are many for whom this financial crisis has had little if any impact on their ability to obtain the necessities of life.

My Relationship with the Phone

I love technology and t admire the tremendous strides that have taken place in recent history to make our lives more convenient.  The TV and the Internet are some of the things that have had an impact on our lives for better and/or  worse (another debate for another time).  But amongst all these devices the one that strikes the most fear in me is one that has been around for all of my life and the lives of almost everyone alive today, the phone.  I don’t know why, but every time I hear my phone ring feelings of anxiety and paranoia surge through every part of my body.  I immediately begin to feel uncomfortable and tense, my heart rate immediately quickens and I begin to panic (No exaggeration).  Who is it? What do they want? Why are they calling?  Before I even answer the phone I am already a mess.  Once on the phone, I begin to pace, unable to sit still, cautious of every word that I am about to speak. Thanks to technology many of my fears are alleviated as I now know who is calling and in most instances I would rather let my voice-mail take the call.  But at home there is no voice mail and no caller ID.  With every ring the sense of anxiety grows.  Should I answer the phone? is it important?  I’ve come to rely on other means of communication such as text message and e-mail but I always wonder why I find it so much easier to write rather than to speak. I’ve lost communication with friends and family due to my inability to simply pick up the phone and make a call or answer the phone.  When communicating one on one things seem to be OK but there is something about hearing the voice and not being able to see the person that makes me very uncomfortable. It is easy to see someones response on their face but more difficult to assess the person when simply relying on their voice.

Reflections on the Big Day

I am now a married man!  I tried to think of a good introduction for this post and this was the best I could come up with.  It was a small wedding (sorry to those who were not invited) and by all accounts things went well on the day. It has been a few weeks since the wedding and many have asked me if anything is different.  I’ve always responded by saying that things are pretty much the same, since we have been living together for quite some time but I must admit that there are some differences, not in the way we live but rather in the way I think about us.  Being married has changed the way I feel about my responsibilites.  I do feel additional pressure to be more of a partner and provider. I have never believed in traditional gender roles where the male is the sole provider and the female the homemaker, but being married has made me think more about our future together (the use of OUR rather than my has started to enter my conciousness) and thus my career.  Generally the pursuit of the all mighty dollar has played a rather small role in my life and thus I have been stuck at a rather dead end job that has not been finacially rewarding.  But I now feel that I have to think not only about myself, but my wife (that is still strange to write) and I realize that things have to change. I think I have refused to admit that I was growing up and if the marriage did change anything it is that it has made me realize that I needed to change.

A Worthy Read

With an excess of free time available to me and me preferring the company of myself rather than the anxiety that results from social interaction, I decided that I should do more reading.  I have never been able to sit down and read a book within a very short period (Schoolwork being excluded).  Reading a book usually took place during my travels on the subway, but rarely at home, thus my total number of books read has not been high but has been a significant improvement over the past.  I recently began reading Simon Winchester’s ‘Korea: A walk through the Land of Miracles’ ,  which is a tale of one mans walk through South Korea from its Southern most point to the North Korean border.  Winchester’s walk takes place in 1988, just prior the the Summer Olympics and his travel route is based on the path taken by Dutch sailors in the Mid 17th Century.  I really enjoyed the book, particularly the way in which Winchester, was able to weave in elements of Korean history into the tale of his own travels through the country.  I found myself  engrossed in the book and began reading the book while walking home on the street and even at home, much to the shock of my Girlfriend.  This would have to be one of the quickest reads for me and  I would highly recommend the book.

About halfway through the book I began to wonder why I found this book  so enjoyable.   Was it the style of writing, the interesting history that extends well beyond that found in North America? or was it something more.  I often think that especially for  second or First Generation Canadians, there is an absence of historical perspective and identity.  Many of us often come from cultures and traditions with long histories (I mean in theory  everyone has the same history, that of mankind) but, once we arrive in Canada  our culture and customs are celebrated  but the history which often provides the foundation is  not celebrated in the same manner.  I think this book made me realize that perhaps there is something missing in myself, something to help me better identify who I am.

Obviously for those who know my situation there is a particular reason why a book on Korea would be intriguing, at the same time I didn’t want to be one of those people who seem to ‘adopt’ a second culture and become so engrossed in that culture (Often it is Japan rather than Korea where this occurs).  But I can now see how easy it can be to read about a people that you may previously known little about and develop a strong infatuation with the people, culture and traditions of that people.

After reading the book I immediately began searching for other readers reviews of the book(Check out the amazon link for some reviews).  You know that feeling when you’ve seen a movie and thought it was good, only to read reviews later that were not very complementary, a complete letdown.  I won’t go into details but I felt some of the comments were completely off base but others had merit.  Anyways give the book a read I think any book that can have some effect is successful, even if the effect was only on me.

A Friendly Encounter

It was a nice afternoon so we decided to head down to Harbourfront and relax.  While on the streetcar I felt a poke on my side.  I turned and was surprised and happy to meet an old friend from school.  I had not seen this person for many years and we spent the rest of the time on the streetcar quickly catching up on old friends and current situations.  The trip was brief as we were close to our destination.  My friend said he too was heading to Harbourfront to relax and unwind.  We said our goodbye’s and headed our own ways.  All was fine and my girlfriend and I continued our discusion.  Then it happened…My neurontic part of my personality overtook me and I began to think I did something wrong.  What is standard ettiquete in this situation? Was I supposed to invite my friend to hang out with us? Did my friend think I didn’t want to spend time catching up? Did they simply wish to spend time alone?  I asked my girlfriend if what just happened was wierd and she said I was being paranoid but the thoughts kept lingering in my mind and I kept replaying the situation over and over.  Who knew meeting a old friend could generate such anxiety.

Good Intentions

Recently, I was walking around Downtown Toronto with my girlfriend.  As many whom frequent the area around the Eaton Centre know, there are often many individuals with pamphlets promoting a variety of things often based around religion or culture.  I passed through the crowd in my typical fashion; head down pretending not to notice the people trying to capture your attention and kindly nodding no to those able to catch my eyes.  I was approached by a young black man who proceeded to place a chocolate bar in my hand.  His direct approach was successful as I hesitated and in that moment he asked “Would you like to make a donation to Canadian Track & Field.  Still in full rejection mode I responded politely the typically Canadian “No Thanks” and took a few steps forward. But something was different, I’m not sure if it was his gentle approach, his race, the fact that topic involved sports, or something else but he hooked me.  Without hesitation I reached into my pocket for money.  The young man reached out his hand and put the money into his pocket.  I walked away satisfied that I had done my good dead for the week (I limit myself to only one).  My sense of pride faded almost immediately and was replaced with skepticism.  I began to wonder why did he not say thank you? Why did he quickly place the money in his pocket? Why did he not write anything or require me to fill something out?  I looked over to my girlfriend only to see her expression of displeasure with my altruistic action. I began to wonder have I become too skeptical?  Was I too trusting?    As I travelled on the streetcar I questioned the motivation for my philanthropy. Was I seeking a thank you merely for self gratification?  Would I have had the same lack of trust if it had been a women or a man of a different age/race? I have all these questions but have yet to come up with any concrete answers.

The move to WordPress

After a couple of years on MSN spaces(spaces live) I have made the move to wordpress.  I would consider myslef a light blogger, often going several months between posts.  At the same time I find the world of blogging extremely fascinating.  Inspired by fellow blogger and old friend boywithnoname, I decided to give wordpress a try.  Perhaps this is the change I need to inspire me to become more engaged.